you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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