I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
