you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
