I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
