he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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