Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
