somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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