No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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