speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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