The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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