You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
