This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
