i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
