Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

ok, come over...I have doritos

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(225): View more from Louisiana

shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this

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(870): View more from Arkansas

You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"

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(646): View more from New York

I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"

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(817): View more from Texas

You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.

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(716): View more from New York

Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.

(585): View more from New York

If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."

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