i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
