alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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