when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
