yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
