Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
