my room smells like sperm. sweet.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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