They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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