I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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