Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
