What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My feet surprised me
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
