Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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