I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
