No awkward lesbian experiences without me
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i came on her dog
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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