You smell like a Billy Joel song
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
