Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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