Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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