Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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