Pants 0. Shit 1.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
