I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
