google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
our cab driver is having phone sex.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
