Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I AM VODKA MAN
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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