This is not my ceiling
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
