The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just found a bag of teeth...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
