you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
