Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
