He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
