Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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