Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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