yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
