the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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