He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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