And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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