I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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