Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
