i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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