i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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